egberts:

intercourse more like yes of course

(via killer-vibess)

badluckchick:

I live in a really bad neighborhood and my friend came over and we heard gun shots and she was like “ooh fireworks” and I just smiled and nodded.

(via fivegum)

(Source: BuzzFeed, via fivegum)

alienswithankhs:

omfg

working retail

noknuckles:

me: hi how are you today?
customer: JUST LOOKING.

(Source: flwrlv, via tipanic)

m4ge:

Dresses are so nice they’re just tubes of fabric you can throw on with very little effort and when you wear one and people are like “oh wow you dressed up you look really nice” but it’s like

ah yes my disguise is working. you think i cared this morning 

(via caillteanas)

(via shp0ngle)

(Source: jennlferlawrence, via fivegum)

tampontampoff:

whenever my dad makes pancakes he always makes a tiny baby one for our dog

(via popmonk)

screecherowl:

margygur:

margygur:

IVE BEEN LOOKING FOR MY CAT ALLL DAY AND AFrer WALKING OUT LOOKING FOR HER I SEE HER IN THE NEIGHBOURS WINDOW ALL THE WINDOWS AND DOORS ARE LOCKED AND THEY ARE ON HILIDAY HOLY SHIT WHAT THE FUC K

image

image

imageTHAT IS MY CAT AND THAT IS NOT MY HOSUE 

I guess this would be a good time to become a cat burglar 

(via toolazytolive)

Mom: who are you texting?
Me: nobody
Mom: what are you doing then?
Me: nothing

zealotarchaeologist:

i stepped on the scale today and it said “bat”

it took me a few seconds to realize it meant the battery was out, but before i realized that i just said “i am not a bat” out loud

(via popmonk)

what’s it called when you have friends but you’re still lonely

(Source: burgrs, via killer-vibess)

thehillsarenothere:

okay u can make fun of Shrek all you want but if u don’t think they were the most beautiful fucking movies ever then ur wrong

(via toolazytolive)